Losing Grip
by JoChryedLover
Summary: What if Amira hadn't returned to Walford in 2009? What would life have been like for Christian and Syed?
1. Chapter 1

**Title: Losing Grip**

**Rating: T**

**Summary: What if Amira had done as Syed asked and had never returned to Walford?**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Syed or Christian. All recognizable characters are property of EastEnders and the BBC.**

* * *

_**I've recently been watching the old Chryed clips from the beginning, and this idea just came to me. What would life have been like for Chryed if Amira had never returned to Walford after learning that Syed was broke and leaving him? Still going to include some of the big Chryed moments, but will obviously lack all trace of Amira. All from Syed POV.**_

* * *

June 9 2009

What did I do?!

Why did I tell Amira not to bother coming back? She's the best thing that's ever happened to me! Girls like her, they're not that easy to find. Maybe I was just in it for myself, in it for the money, to begin with, but now...now I sort of loved her.

I mean, I don't think I've ever been in love. Not properly, anyway. I've had girlfriends, sure. And I suppose I may have even loved a couple of them. But being _in love_? I mean, how do you know, anyway? It's not like in the films and stuff; your eyes don't meet across a crowded room and you just _know._ Do you? Amira and I, we had a laugh. I liked spending time with her, making her happy. She made me feel good about myself. But does that mean that I'm in love?

Maybe I was just in love with the _idea_ of her. Maybe the idea that she seemed to want me, when she could have anyone she wanted, was what attracted me to her so much. Not to mention the money...

There was no denying that she was beautiful. Anyone could see that. She was kind, funny, intelligent. A good Muslim girl with good Muslim values. But she'd insulted me, disrespected my family. And although I couldn't exactly blame her, given what I'd done to her, I still couldn't forgive her either. Mum was right. She was a snob.

I checked my watch. It was almost 2. Mum's delivery should be here any minute. Right on cue, the doorbell rings, and as I push myself up from the sofa, I resolve to get over Amira, and move on with my life.

* * *

_**I know this chapter was short, but I really couldn't face writing anymore of Syed pining for Amira!**_


	2. Chapter 2

**Title: Losing Grip**

**Rating: T**

**Summary: What if Amira had done as Syed asked and had never returned to Walford?**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Syed or Christian. All recognizable characters are property of EastEnders and the BBC.**

* * *

June 11 2009

Mum's still reeling from the stunt Parveen and I pulled last night. I thought she'd have seen the funny side by now, but she's still on at me for disrespecting my elders, especially when one of them was a guest in our house. I am glad that Parveen and I parted on good terms, though. She's a nice enough girl, and I'm glad to be her friend, but we're both too similar. We're both determined and headstrong, and a relationship between us could never work.

Amira showed up last night, begging me to take her in. Her dad was in trouble, and she had nowhere else to go. I felt for her, I really did, but after the way she'd treated me, not to mention what she'd said to my mum, my family, I couldn't help her. I'd worked too hard to get my family back, and I wasn't going to let anything come between us again. Although I felt bad for her, I gave her what little money I had and sent her on her way. I was just starting to get over her. The last thing I needed was her back in my life right now.

I'm in the Unit with dad, mum's gone AWOL and we've got a lot to get done. As I head out, I pass Christian on the stairs. I feel my heart start to race, my pulse start to quicken, but it's gone as quickly as it happened. I shrug it off. Probably caused by the stress we're under, seeing as there only seems to be two of us actually doing any work today.

But still, I can't help the niggling at the back of my d.

_Something's changing._

* * *

**_Sorry for the little chapters, but they should start to get longer from Chapter 3 onwards!_**


End file.
